Infinite Loop!

So its a well-known cliche that "History repeats itself". But this history is one of a kind. It repeats itself once every 4 years. It doesn't have a name as such but I call it the "Cricket Worldcup vs. Board Exams" tug of war. Its more difficult than writing the board papers themselves. And if you are caught in the middle of it (like I was!) then God save you!!!

This unusual post was actually triggered by Dilip Vengsarkar's comment in the 'Mumbai Mirror' today. The worldcup starts 13th March and Maharashtra board's SSC exams start 8th March. So Mr. V urged students to study and do their best while Team India does its best in WI. If the current students are anything like me, I dont think they'll pay any heed to his oh-so-practical advice!!!

I remember tht day very clearly, it was the first of March, 2003. India-Pakistan's Worldcup match and 2 days to go for my HSC Maths paper - my nemesis! I was plonked b4 the TV, A pack of Lays on one side, a bottle of Pepsi on the other and the maths textbook in front. The initial plan here was to context switch between match and calculus.

But the moment the match began all thoughts of maths vanished!! Clapping at cheering at every wicket (India bowled first) and later rejoicing at every run that brought us closer to a daunting target that India chased. The maths book that I was supposed to solve from was used as a flag of triumph to wave for every four and six!!

Match over...India won!!!...Pepsi spilt...Lays packets floating around...and a sharp descent back to earth and the world of board exams. 2 days later the showdown to the tug of war and guess wat...both were winners!!! Good maths paper and good match as well!! Hope all the current board exam givers are as lucky too!!! All the best folks!!

What is IT??

With the HSC board exams round the corner, I'll cut corners on descriptions of the anxieties and pressures of the exams itself and come to the crux of the post.

This started a few days back when one of my neighbours who is appearing for the HSC exams came to me. She wanted to do engineering but wasn't clear if she wanted to do it (err did u understand tht??). So she came to me with a twofold program (1) Tell me about engineering (2) Tell me about IT engineering.

The first part was easy. I told her about the pride and prejudice that comes with being Er. XYZ (I discovered that prefix recently and hope to attach it to my name in few months!!). Among the benefits are recognition as a 'rational' and 'intelligent' person. You learn to work fast and take shortcuts where needed (like learning from notes instead of books and compressing assignments). You get to learn and have fun too if you can walk the tightrope between acads and partying. It makes you realise what "learning for learning's sake" means.

On the flipside its a lot of pressures every 3-4 months with submissions, vivas and exams. There are those distressing times when u get low marks or bad grades or even when u feel u just cant cope up with the studies!! But u learn to handle it bcos afterall that's how real life will be. I touched upon the campus placements and festivals part for her so that she understood degree college life but I guess it's a part of any degree course not just engineering.

On the whole being an "engineer" to me doesn't mean ur technically proficient in general and in your discipline in particular. To me it means you've come a long way as a person since u wer in school or jr. college. It means u've learned to cope with the vagaries of life. It means that you apply the same rationale and analysis that engineering subjects require to everything in life and not let emotions get the better of you even at the worst moments.

Perhaps I can best sum this up by the statement mom dad make at home everytime they feel I'm gonna throw a tantrum. No they don't say "You are grown up now" or "Stop acting childish". Instead they say "You are an engineer". That has the effect of clearing the layer of strong emotion in my mind at that minute - be it anger, resentment or dejection - and throwing my rational self into gear.

By now you must be wondering y the post carries such an irrelevant title when something like "An engineer speaks" would be more apt. But it is a question that I asked myself before I answered the second part of my neighbour's query. What is IT or Information Technology???

You would think 4 years of studying IT engineering would have let me answer the question in a jiffy. But the more I pondered over it the more I wondered why I didn't know the answer. Is IT about writing programs?? By its definition IT means "all methods of storage, retrieval and modification of information." Then if I am competent enough to arrange an array of clerks and filing cabinets in such a way that I facilitate easy storage, retrieval and modification of information; do I qualify as an IT engineer? Even if I don't know 'P' of Programming??

Is my definition incomplete or inaccurate? Or is IT just a collection of subjects prescribed under IT engineering? I know its shameful coming from an almost full-fledged IT engineer but - Will someone tell me "What is IT??"

Sabzi Mandi

This is specially for all those who hav qualms about flying off to the States. Perhaps I can suggest a small algorithm to boost up your resolve to do well in GREs and GMATs and run off!!!

1. Take up an 8.00 am class at Dadar (Vidyalankar, Excellent, Kalpana...doesn't matter!!).
2. See to it that the class has over 100 students in it and still counting.
3. Go late by train and reach Dadar station at 7.45 am.
4. Walk from there as fast as you can to the class taking the sabzi mandi road.

What will happen is you will hav to run a hurdles race. Your hurdles? People unloading carrots and radishes from trucks, females carrying big tokris of tomatoes, buses honking their way behind u and taxis blocking your way in front of you!!

What could go wrong here?? I mean how hard is it to dodge all these when we are champions at braving the local trains!! Well you just might slip and fall flat in the swamp that wasted vegetables create on the road. Or maybe if you irritate a vendor with too much profanity she'll throw a rotten tomato at you. Ofcourse you might still survive right till Vidyalankar's building and then a bird will shit on you!!

If you are against a hurdles race you can try the marathon instead. Sprint across straight from Dadar station. Then outrun vehicles coming at you at supersonic speed on Tilak Bridge. Again run down the stairs on the other side of the bridge. You only hav to encounter a little of the Sabzi Mandi then. Did I mention that part sells all types mirchi, masalas, pudina and ginger garlic?? You just hav to endure that violent bout of sneezes!!!

After all this what's the prize you ask?? Why its the coveted seat in your class which otherwise wud be overflowing with students!! You get to choose one that's not too near to the AC or fan nor too far from it and which is near to the sir (if he's cute) or far from him (if his lectures are soporific).

Do this for 1 or 2 classes if you havent experienced it already. Beliv me you'll work like crazy for ur exam if only to get to a more clean environment!!!

Disclaimer : This post by no means indicates that I'm unpatriotic and it is for entertainment purposes only. All methods described here must be followed at individual's own risk and I do not take any responsibility for any injury or loss of sanity caused by following them.

Juxtaposed!

Learning the GRE wordlist is a daunting task (feels like trying to download Guru on dial-up!!)! But for us lesser mortals who can't load the list in their heads like Trinity, we have to struggle and slog our way through it. Some words are easy to register and others need some legerdemain (see i'm even using them in daily conversation!!) but there are always some words that are elusive to say the least!! Turn your back to them and they are immediately lost in oblivion.

It makes me feel like Dorothy, the girl who

"learnt her tables to and fro
and backward and forward too
but couldn't remember what was six times nine
and didn't know what to do!!"

Atleast she had a sister who told her to call her Mary-Ann (her doll!) 54 for a while so she could remember it. Oh didn't you know what happened when her teacher asked her wat was 6 times 9? She answered 'Mary Ann'!!!

Anyways to get to the point, I cudn't apply this technique to words. So I resorted to applying the words I learnt to everyday situations, characters from TV serials, movies and books and even to people around me. I learnt most words that way but one word that I just cudn't grasp was "juxtapose". Maybe it was because I wasn't able to fit it to any known situation or thing or maybe it was just a strange word but I failed to fix it in my memory.

That was till a new class of mine began just a few days back. On the first day of class due to acute shortage of space (as is the case with Mumbai engineering classes) a girl I didn't know atall sat next to me. Not that I'm averse to strangers but I'm not so gregarious that I make friends like Maggi Noodles!

To get back to her, the minute she sat down, she started telling me how, why and when she took the class. In hardly the time it takes to blink a dozen times, I knew all her academic background and she had moved onto her family history! 'Expatiate' suddenly became crystal clear (I even put a reminder in my cell to write down this clue on the flashcard!). And by the time sir arrived I knew she hated her CSM prof last sem and her sister's friend's cousin's daughter had returned from the States!!!

I had hoped to seek solace in the fact that she would keep quiet in the lecture. But that was a misconception. She soon proved that her knowledge of DWM surpassed sir's and that she could seamlessly merge it with her gyan of other subjects! When it was time for a break I had lost sight of the subject I was supposed to be learning though I'd a clear idea of previous sem subjects!! After the break the story repeated itself. While she continued her parallel lecture to me, I wondered idly how many gigahertz her processor operated at to allow her to talk so fast!!

The lecture ended (THANK GOD!!!) and I rushed out fo the class happily. Solemnly vowed never to have anything to do with Ms. err-what-did she-say-her-name-was!! Ate a huge Jumbo King vada pav in celebration of being emancipated. Ran home to review the real lecture that I was supposed to listen to.

Next day I peered around cautiously before taking my seat in class. I didn't see her anywhere and heaved a sigh of relief. 15 minutes passed since sir started the lecture and no sign of her yet. I began to breathe easily and was even laughing at sir's joke when...

...the class door opened and there was my nemesis!! No prizes for guessing where she sat down!! And she had the audacity to even say an excited 'Hi'! As I resigned myself to another day of parallel lectures, I scribbled in my notebook...

..."juxtaposed yet again by fate!!!"